Last week I decided to take some time out from my post-uni routine of sleeping, playing various games on the Playstation and eating out at McDonald's to go to an awards ceremony. That's right, an awards ceremony, with a red carpet and everything. At least I think the carpet was red, the reality was that I went to a Digital Film Production end of year show at Cineworld in Cheltenham. Was I invited because I'm a renowned journalist, who could cast a critical but witty eye over proceedings? No, I was invited by two of my house-mates who are on the course. Still though, that's more that you've done isn't it? ISN'T IT?
Despite it being an evening of entertainment shared with a few friends, and an excuse to look a little more important than I actually am, I was sceptical about going. This was mainly due to the fact that I would have to sit through three hours of short films. It would be fair to say that I have a short attention span. If I watch a short film on youtube, I'm usually twitching to see how long it's got left, or how long I've spent watching it. The thought of doing this for three hours was enough for me to break out in a sweat, which wasn't ideal, because I had only just put on the shirt that I had to spend the rest of the evening wearing. I felt sorry for the people sat around me.
My scepticism was unfounded. By the time I sat down and cracked open a bag of M&Ms, the evening sailed by. The films were a mixture of Drama, Horror, Romantic Comedy and Documentaries. Some of the films were genuinely exceptional, some were less exceptional, and I'm afraid to say that at times the thought of 'I could make something as good as this' entered my mind.
That's the thing with films though, someone's favourite film of all time can so easily be one that someone else will despise up to the point where they start spitting out blood, such is their rage. Some of the films I watched were completely lost on me. While some looked beautiful and professional, I couldn't help but wonder where the story was. With this in mind, I've come up with an idea for a short film of my own. It is obviously all style over substance, but it is very much like modern art, in that there is some sort of plot and context beneath the superficial tosh you are seeing with those fickle little things you call your eyes.
The Lifestyle Choices of Dominic
Synopsis: Dominic is a quiet young man in his late 20s. He leads a typical life in that he works hard, has a close network of friends and socialises whenever he can, often accompanied by Emma, his girlfriend of three years. However, Dominic is heading upon tough times, and today he must make the decision whether to hold on to the inner child who has been part of him since his birth, or let go of it and conquer the world.
This of course means that Dominic wakes up at 7am, gets showered and goes downstairs to the kitchen to make some breakfast. It is at this point when he is hit with the hardest decision of his life - Coco Pops or Corn Flakes? From here the film comprises of 3 and a half minutes of tense close ups, with Dominic's eyes shifting across from one box of cereal to the other. Occasionally you may see his hand reach for one of the boxes only to quickly retract it back to it's original place. Then comes the three minutes of unadulterated weeping, crying, bawling, screaming until Dominic's face is red, his veins are throbbing and his voice is going hoarse. He has collapsed on the floor, and Emma is absolutely powerless to stop him. I don't want to spoil the ending, but lets just say that with Emma's help, Dominic manages to find a happy medium between the full grown adult and his inner child. This will probably come in the form of a box of Frosties or Coco Shreddies, or any sort of other cereal for grown men who can't really face reality.
If anyone would like to make this happen for me, please feel free to contact me. I may even post some more ideas in the next few weeks. I don't want to blow your mind all at once though.
Tuesday, 31 May 2011
Wednesday, 18 May 2011
Aspirational Television
There are certain programmes that manage to capture the attention of the public so well that people talk about it incessantly. In the weeks since I last posted, a show which can only be described as spectacular has been airing twice a week. Every time an episode is shown, social network feeds get smeared with updates all related to the show.
I am, of course, talking about The Only Way is Essex (or TOWIE if you're into initialising things). Like the common cold, McDonald's and Crocs, it's everywhere. For weeks I went by, blissfully unaware of what the programme was, who was in it or the sort of things that go on in Essex, and I was happy.
At least I was until a few days ago, when at a family wedding I witnessed two near middle-aged women talking about the show. I made a mental note to myself to watch an episode, just in case it turned out I was missing out on some of the most classic television since the days of Del Boy and Rodney.
I wasn't. After an hour long episode, I wasn't left feeling content, entertained or even slightly warm inside. In fact, my insides were as cold as the time I realised the Playstation Network was down. Not unlike the first time I watched Inception, I have questions. Feel free to answer them if you want, but I've made up my own mind on the right answer in quite a few instances.
1) Is it actually real?
I was reminded both at the beginning and end of the show that 'the people are all real although some of what they do has been set up for your entertainment'. I'm still not entirely sure what this means. After watching an episode, I can only assume that it's just a group of people who can't really act like some of the people on our television sets can. They get told where to go and what to talk about, but not specific lines. As a result, we get pool parties and girls trying on bikinis, because a group of clever producers decided that people will still watch it without having to pay too much attention to what is being said.
2) Why?
Why make a programme about these people in particular? Why does their culture deserve to be celebrated? They do exactly the same things as we all do, the only difference is that they do it in a more ridiculous way, saying things that we probably wouldn't with a camera in front of us because we didn't want to look like an utter cock. This may be entertaining, but surely the point of any show like this is to empathise or feel something for at least a few of the characters.
3) Again, why?
Why do these people have a show? I watch someone like 'Joey Essex' and I imagine that watching a wheelbarrow is more entertaining. At least the wheelbarrow wouldn't say things like 'Reem', which without going on urban dicitionary, I can only assume is slang for 'remedial'. After all, when he said his hair was 'looking reem', the sentence made perfect sense.
I can understand why the show entertains people. After all, these people manage to look like they have quite a lot of money and live glamorous lives, but at the same time the audience can comfort themselves with the fact that they are nowhere near as idiotic. It's aspirational television. It can also be funny on a laugh out loud scale. I chortled my little heart out when I saw a girl start crying because a man she 'obviously has feelings for' walked straight past her at a party and started talking to another woman. That and the toothy one hurting her hand on a park bench and being confused by it. Other than that, to me it was nothing more than dull, uninteresting trash television that requires no thought whatsoever, which is probably why everyone enjoys it.
I am, of course, talking about The Only Way is Essex (or TOWIE if you're into initialising things). Like the common cold, McDonald's and Crocs, it's everywhere. For weeks I went by, blissfully unaware of what the programme was, who was in it or the sort of things that go on in Essex, and I was happy.
At least I was until a few days ago, when at a family wedding I witnessed two near middle-aged women talking about the show. I made a mental note to myself to watch an episode, just in case it turned out I was missing out on some of the most classic television since the days of Del Boy and Rodney.
I wasn't. After an hour long episode, I wasn't left feeling content, entertained or even slightly warm inside. In fact, my insides were as cold as the time I realised the Playstation Network was down. Not unlike the first time I watched Inception, I have questions. Feel free to answer them if you want, but I've made up my own mind on the right answer in quite a few instances.
1) Is it actually real?
I was reminded both at the beginning and end of the show that 'the people are all real although some of what they do has been set up for your entertainment'. I'm still not entirely sure what this means. After watching an episode, I can only assume that it's just a group of people who can't really act like some of the people on our television sets can. They get told where to go and what to talk about, but not specific lines. As a result, we get pool parties and girls trying on bikinis, because a group of clever producers decided that people will still watch it without having to pay too much attention to what is being said.
2) Why?
Why make a programme about these people in particular? Why does their culture deserve to be celebrated? They do exactly the same things as we all do, the only difference is that they do it in a more ridiculous way, saying things that we probably wouldn't with a camera in front of us because we didn't want to look like an utter cock. This may be entertaining, but surely the point of any show like this is to empathise or feel something for at least a few of the characters.
3) Again, why?
Why do these people have a show? I watch someone like 'Joey Essex' and I imagine that watching a wheelbarrow is more entertaining. At least the wheelbarrow wouldn't say things like 'Reem', which without going on urban dicitionary, I can only assume is slang for 'remedial'. After all, when he said his hair was 'looking reem', the sentence made perfect sense.
I can understand why the show entertains people. After all, these people manage to look like they have quite a lot of money and live glamorous lives, but at the same time the audience can comfort themselves with the fact that they are nowhere near as idiotic. It's aspirational television. It can also be funny on a laugh out loud scale. I chortled my little heart out when I saw a girl start crying because a man she 'obviously has feelings for' walked straight past her at a party and started talking to another woman. That and the toothy one hurting her hand on a park bench and being confused by it. Other than that, to me it was nothing more than dull, uninteresting trash television that requires no thought whatsoever, which is probably why everyone enjoys it.
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