December, you crept up on us didn't you? Despite months of warning in the form of television adverts since mid-October, I am shocked that it's now only five days until Christmas Day and I'm not even sure I've bought all the presents I need to. Even if I haven't, I can't go and get any more, because the nation has been viciously attacked by weather than can only be described as 'treacherous'.
Anyway, with the end of the year fast approaching, now seems like the perfect time to take a retrospective look at 2010 and think 'wow, another lacklustre year in the field of everything'. I would tell you what happened in each month, but I don't think either of us are really that bothered. In short, my faith in humanity died a little more as songs from the hateful TV show Glee started entering the charts. If anything as bad happens in 2011, I will seriously consider buying, building and locking myself in an underground bunker with nothing but tinned food, Sprite, a stereo and a self-recorded CD that features nothing but guitar feedback.
As far as the charts were concerned, the year passed by in a haze of pop acts that crossed genres so many times, that I spent much of my summer feeling like I had gotten out of bed too fast. The biggest low, however was when James Corden made it to number one. James Corden made it to number one. James Corden made it to number one. No matter how many times I write it down, it will never make me feel comfortable.
Anyway, despite my many misgivings about the beginning of a new decade, there have been some brilliant albums. So, as predictable as Sports Personality of the Year being on the Sunday before Christmas, or a list from any musical publication about what they thought the best albums of the year were, here's my list of favourite albums of 2010. There's no particular order, but I might be able to sort a top three.
We Are Scientists - Barbara
Paul Weller - Wake Up The Nation
Surfer Blood - Astrocoast
The Drums - The Drums
Broken Social Scene - Forgiveness Rock Record
Sky Larkin - Kaleide
Kate Nash - My Best Friend Is You
Pavement - Quarantine the Past (I don't care that it's a compilation)
Various - Scott Pilgrim vs The World (OST)
The Dead Weather - Sea Of Cowards
LCD Soundsystem - This Is Happening
Arcade Fire - The Suburbs
3) The Thermals - Personal Life
2) Gorillaz - Plastic Beach
1) Blood Red Shoes - Fire Like This
If you haven't listened to any of my top three, then give them a try. Don't expect to hear the best album's of all time, because they're not, they're just my favourites. If you're not a fan, you can always go back to listening to Kings of Leon or N-Dubz.
Merry Christmas!
Monday, 20 December 2010
Sunday, 12 December 2010
X-Factor Reduced Me To This:
As anyone who is familiar with me will know, I have a bit of a love/hate relationship with a lot of aspects of popular culture. By the term 'love/hate', I mean that I genuinely hate it as much as I hate Charity Muggers, being cold and Nick Clegg. At least that is until it starts gradually wearing me down, destroying the walls that protect my internal misery and forcing itself upon me until I can't help but sing 'Bad Romance' by Lady GaGa at the top of my voice.
I blame this on two things. The first is that when I'm not being a student, I have a job in which I am relentlessly bombarded with chart music. I spent four or five days a week, every week having to listen to every hateful pop act on the planet, and Katy Perry. I know most of the words to most of the songs on Now 76 as a result. Going back to my car at the end of the day and putting on one of my CDs gave me what I imagine to be the same feeling a crack addict gets when he's given the chance to score.
The second reason is The X Factor. At first I kept my distance from it, but after a month or so it had worn me down and I couldn't help but sit in every Saturday and Sunday and watch it. By now, it acts as some sort of undercover agent, which allows things I usually wouldn't give a second look to filter itself into my subconscious. This includes Take That, JLS and even Dannii Minogue. I genuinely went on youtube last week and searched out a Dannii Minogue song, I found this. I've been singing it ever since. I don't know why, it's absolutely horrendous.
Luckily, after tomorrow, The X Factor is over, which gives me a chance to overdose on all things alternative until it all happens again next year. However, one act who will definitely be allowed to stay is Rihanna.
Firstly, I want to defend myself and say it's not because she appeared on X-Factor last night in an outfit that left little to the imagination. I like to think I am far more of a decent human being than that. The truth is, I manage to absolutely love most of the songs that she releases. 'Umbrella' is a tune, 'Only Girl (In The World)' is as well, and 'Rudeboy' is genuinely one of my favourite songs of 2010 (I think it's something to do with the steel drum effects). She's a star on a global scale, and isn't anywhere near as annoying as some other worldwide phenomenon (ahem, Lady Gaga), which makes me feel that little bit better for liking some of her music.
Let's get one thing straight though, the above paragraph is the only time I am ever going to admit such fandom for her. It's probably going to be the first and last time it ever happens in the public sphere. In fact, I'm going to go right now and listen to Blood Red Shoes and Pavement and forget this whole thing ever happened.
P.S. Matt Cardle to win!
I blame this on two things. The first is that when I'm not being a student, I have a job in which I am relentlessly bombarded with chart music. I spent four or five days a week, every week having to listen to every hateful pop act on the planet, and Katy Perry. I know most of the words to most of the songs on Now 76 as a result. Going back to my car at the end of the day and putting on one of my CDs gave me what I imagine to be the same feeling a crack addict gets when he's given the chance to score.
The second reason is The X Factor. At first I kept my distance from it, but after a month or so it had worn me down and I couldn't help but sit in every Saturday and Sunday and watch it. By now, it acts as some sort of undercover agent, which allows things I usually wouldn't give a second look to filter itself into my subconscious. This includes Take That, JLS and even Dannii Minogue. I genuinely went on youtube last week and searched out a Dannii Minogue song, I found this. I've been singing it ever since. I don't know why, it's absolutely horrendous.
Luckily, after tomorrow, The X Factor is over, which gives me a chance to overdose on all things alternative until it all happens again next year. However, one act who will definitely be allowed to stay is Rihanna.
Firstly, I want to defend myself and say it's not because she appeared on X-Factor last night in an outfit that left little to the imagination. I like to think I am far more of a decent human being than that. The truth is, I manage to absolutely love most of the songs that she releases. 'Umbrella' is a tune, 'Only Girl (In The World)' is as well, and 'Rudeboy' is genuinely one of my favourite songs of 2010 (I think it's something to do with the steel drum effects). She's a star on a global scale, and isn't anywhere near as annoying as some other worldwide phenomenon (ahem, Lady Gaga), which makes me feel that little bit better for liking some of her music.
Let's get one thing straight though, the above paragraph is the only time I am ever going to admit such fandom for her. It's probably going to be the first and last time it ever happens in the public sphere. In fact, I'm going to go right now and listen to Blood Red Shoes and Pavement and forget this whole thing ever happened.
P.S. Matt Cardle to win!
Friday, 3 December 2010
I'll Be Fat, Lonely Or Dead
So, England won't be hosting the World Cup in 2018. There are a number of reasons being banded around as to why too. The first is that we just weren't good enough, the second is because FIFA are a little corrupt, what with all their bribes and such, and the third is that David Cameron didn't actually pitch about why England should have the competition, he actually just pretended he was in the House of Commons and argued about why he thinks he's better than Ed Milliband. Whatever the reason, England aren't hosting the World Cup until at least the year 2030.
It was that fact that got me thinking. In 2030 I'll be 40 years old, but what about further on into the future after England don't host that World Cup either? Chances are by the time I'm 52 I'll be either fat, lonely or dead. Either way, I'm quite willing to admit that I won't be doing anything extravagant like playing Wembley arena, or releasing my umpteenth album. I'm no Paul Weller.
I don't know why, but I've suddenly re-encountered my love for Weller. It might be because he was on the cover of NME last week. I didn't realise I was so influenced by the media, first The X-Factor, now this. Next thing I know, I'll be buying Black Eyed Peas new album (I definitely won't).
Anyway, I've digressed. The truth is, Weller is a legend, and although you might not know it, everyone has encountered some of his music at one point or another. The man has been in the music industry since 1977, and apart from a bit of a blip in the late 80s with The Style Council, he has continually released good music right up to this day. It's a testament that he hasn't run out of things to do.
I think the reason is because there's always something to complain about. When he was around with The Jam in the late 70s and early 80s, he was brilliant at commentating on society, or voicing disdain at how it was being treated by the powers that be. This is something that has stayed with him right up to the present day, he may have mellowed a bit since being a teenager, but you still get the picture with Paul Weller. He's pissed off.
Anyway, on Monday he released a new live album, mostly featuring material from his latest studio album, Wake Up The Nation. Weller's live shows can only be described as immense, sure, the audience he attracts aren't quite the same as the ones he probably did 30 years ago, but he still gives it his all, which is quite commendable at the age of 52. He even breaks out some classics from his days in The Jam, if you can, make sure you listen to 'That's Entertainment', one of his most famous songs, slightly reworked, but still retaining all that made it good originally.
Don't take it from me though, have a listen to the great man yourself. You can listen to a playlist of all his greatest songs here. Hopefully it'll keep you entertained until 2012, at least by then we'll have the Olympics.
It was that fact that got me thinking. In 2030 I'll be 40 years old, but what about further on into the future after England don't host that World Cup either? Chances are by the time I'm 52 I'll be either fat, lonely or dead. Either way, I'm quite willing to admit that I won't be doing anything extravagant like playing Wembley arena, or releasing my umpteenth album. I'm no Paul Weller.
I don't know why, but I've suddenly re-encountered my love for Weller. It might be because he was on the cover of NME last week. I didn't realise I was so influenced by the media, first The X-Factor, now this. Next thing I know, I'll be buying Black Eyed Peas new album (I definitely won't).
Anyway, I've digressed. The truth is, Weller is a legend, and although you might not know it, everyone has encountered some of his music at one point or another. The man has been in the music industry since 1977, and apart from a bit of a blip in the late 80s with The Style Council, he has continually released good music right up to this day. It's a testament that he hasn't run out of things to do.
I think the reason is because there's always something to complain about. When he was around with The Jam in the late 70s and early 80s, he was brilliant at commentating on society, or voicing disdain at how it was being treated by the powers that be. This is something that has stayed with him right up to the present day, he may have mellowed a bit since being a teenager, but you still get the picture with Paul Weller. He's pissed off.
Anyway, on Monday he released a new live album, mostly featuring material from his latest studio album, Wake Up The Nation. Weller's live shows can only be described as immense, sure, the audience he attracts aren't quite the same as the ones he probably did 30 years ago, but he still gives it his all, which is quite commendable at the age of 52. He even breaks out some classics from his days in The Jam, if you can, make sure you listen to 'That's Entertainment', one of his most famous songs, slightly reworked, but still retaining all that made it good originally.
Don't take it from me though, have a listen to the great man yourself. You can listen to a playlist of all his greatest songs here. Hopefully it'll keep you entertained until 2012, at least by then we'll have the Olympics.
Thursday, 25 November 2010
Might As Well Go On Holiday
When did going to gigs become such a colossal pain in the arse? Seriously, when? I've never been to one that didn't require huge amounts of planning, organisation or luck to make the whole thing go as smoothly as possible.
It's that time of year when band's start thinking about next year, Pulp have reformed and will be performing, Foo Fighters are playing humongous shows, and Blink 182 are going on a big arena tour, all in summer of next year.
The main problem, as far as I can see, is that I don't live in one of the UK's main cities. I live in either Cheltenham or North Devon. The only time rock stars ever bother going to the Cotswolds is when they want to live there, and as for North Devon, well, I only go there because it's where my home happens to be. The main problem with both of them is that no gig is ever really less than an hour away in a car. You city folk don't know how easy you've got it.
So, as an example, say I want to go and see Arcade Fire at the LG Arena in Birmingham on 8 December. I have to buy a ticket for £31.25 for a ticket (including the booking fee). After this I need to arrange transport, and a place to stay (because Cross Country trains don't exist after 10 o'clock for some annoying reason). Transport to the arena will cost me £20 overall, and because I have no friends in Birmingham (or anywhere for that matter), accommodation will be around £50 at a hotel near the venue. That's £101.25 in total, for a Wednesday night in Birmingham, and that doesn't even take into account any food or drink. Would it not just be cheaper to go on holiday?
Well, why not go on holiday and go to a gig at the same time? Spain's Benicassim festival next summer would almost definitely have better weather than Glastonbury, or a Foo Fighters gig. The expense would be worth it for seven days away from Britain, which by July will probably have been run well and truly into the ground by Cameron and Clegg, and to top it all it turns out that The Strokes and Arctic Monkeys are headlining. Tickets are only around €36 a day. What more could you want?
I'm coming round to the idea rather quickly.
It's that time of year when band's start thinking about next year, Pulp have reformed and will be performing, Foo Fighters are playing humongous shows, and Blink 182 are going on a big arena tour, all in summer of next year.
The main problem, as far as I can see, is that I don't live in one of the UK's main cities. I live in either Cheltenham or North Devon. The only time rock stars ever bother going to the Cotswolds is when they want to live there, and as for North Devon, well, I only go there because it's where my home happens to be. The main problem with both of them is that no gig is ever really less than an hour away in a car. You city folk don't know how easy you've got it.
So, as an example, say I want to go and see Arcade Fire at the LG Arena in Birmingham on 8 December. I have to buy a ticket for £31.25 for a ticket (including the booking fee). After this I need to arrange transport, and a place to stay (because Cross Country trains don't exist after 10 o'clock for some annoying reason). Transport to the arena will cost me £20 overall, and because I have no friends in Birmingham (or anywhere for that matter), accommodation will be around £50 at a hotel near the venue. That's £101.25 in total, for a Wednesday night in Birmingham, and that doesn't even take into account any food or drink. Would it not just be cheaper to go on holiday?
Well, why not go on holiday and go to a gig at the same time? Spain's Benicassim festival next summer would almost definitely have better weather than Glastonbury, or a Foo Fighters gig. The expense would be worth it for seven days away from Britain, which by July will probably have been run well and truly into the ground by Cameron and Clegg, and to top it all it turns out that The Strokes and Arctic Monkeys are headlining. Tickets are only around €36 a day. What more could you want?
I'm coming round to the idea rather quickly.
Wednesday, 17 November 2010
This Blog Post Will Change Your Life
Yesterday turned out to be quite an eventful day. Not for me personally, all I did was go to a lecture and prepare the worst presentation of my life. But as far as news goes, the day was action packed. There was an engagement in the royal family, which somehow warranted blanket rolling news coverage. God knows why, were BBC News 24 hoping that William was going to decide 'actually, I don't think I proposed in quite the right manner, maybe I should ask Katherine to marry me in front of all these TV cameras?'.
Unfortunately (for Apple, anyway), the engagement shoved aside all other news. So the announcement that The Beatles music is finally available to buy on iTunes was put further down the world news agenda.
Yes, you heard right, The Beatles' back catalogue can now be purchased digitally for the first time ever. After years and years of disputes between their record company, Apple Corps, and the computer giants. I have most of the Beatles' material anyway, and I definitely didn't pay as much for it as I would have to on iTunes, but that's not the point. One of the greatest bands ever have finally gone digital!
I do have one slight gripe though. Not so much with The Beatles, but more with Apple and iTunes themselves. They provided a little teaser for this big announcement by saying that yesterday would be "just another day. That you'll never forget." I can't help but feel that they exaggerated a bit too much. Yesterday was average for me, I did some work, went to a lecture, did some more work and went to bed. Maybe if Katy Perry had appeared on my doorstep in a tiny bikini with a bottle of champagne singing 'Love Me Do' then I would feel differently. But she didn't. So I don't.
If Apple thought putting the Fab Four on iTunes was so big, why didn't they resurrect John Lennon to break the news to us all? After all, they can do amazing things with technology. I'm sure no one would have forgot the day Lennon rose again, with it backing up his statement that The Beatles are bigger than Jesus. He could have done an acoustic rendition of 'All You Need Is Love' just to make it that extra bit memorable. I would definitely tell my grandkids about it then.
Anyway, with my issues with promotion aside, I appreciate that having the band available online is a brilliant move. After all, if you're trying to get into the band, their material is so vast that it is a real job to work out what to buy first. Having them on iTunes allows people to find what they want in much simpler terms.
However, I'm about to make the whole process even simpler by suggesting 15 songs that you should definitely download, or in other words, my favourites. Here they are:
Unfortunately (for Apple, anyway), the engagement shoved aside all other news. So the announcement that The Beatles music is finally available to buy on iTunes was put further down the world news agenda.
Yes, you heard right, The Beatles' back catalogue can now be purchased digitally for the first time ever. After years and years of disputes between their record company, Apple Corps, and the computer giants. I have most of the Beatles' material anyway, and I definitely didn't pay as much for it as I would have to on iTunes, but that's not the point. One of the greatest bands ever have finally gone digital!
I do have one slight gripe though. Not so much with The Beatles, but more with Apple and iTunes themselves. They provided a little teaser for this big announcement by saying that yesterday would be "just another day. That you'll never forget." I can't help but feel that they exaggerated a bit too much. Yesterday was average for me, I did some work, went to a lecture, did some more work and went to bed. Maybe if Katy Perry had appeared on my doorstep in a tiny bikini with a bottle of champagne singing 'Love Me Do' then I would feel differently. But she didn't. So I don't.
If Apple thought putting the Fab Four on iTunes was so big, why didn't they resurrect John Lennon to break the news to us all? After all, they can do amazing things with technology. I'm sure no one would have forgot the day Lennon rose again, with it backing up his statement that The Beatles are bigger than Jesus. He could have done an acoustic rendition of 'All You Need Is Love' just to make it that extra bit memorable. I would definitely tell my grandkids about it then.
Anyway, with my issues with promotion aside, I appreciate that having the band available online is a brilliant move. After all, if you're trying to get into the band, their material is so vast that it is a real job to work out what to buy first. Having them on iTunes allows people to find what they want in much simpler terms.
However, I'm about to make the whole process even simpler by suggesting 15 songs that you should definitely download, or in other words, my favourites. Here they are:
- Taxman (from Revolver)
- Help! (from Help!)
- I Am The Walrus (from Magical Mystery Tour)
- She Loves You (from Past Masters)
- A Hard Day's Night (from A Hard Day's Night)
- You've Got To Hide Your Love Away (from Help!)
- Strawberry Fields Forever (from Magical Mystery Tour)
- Come Together (from Abbey Road)
- And Your Bird Can Sing (from Revolver)
- Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds (from Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band)
- All You Need Is Love (from Magical Mystery Tour)
- Revolution (from The Beatles 1967-1970 (The Blue Album))
- I'm Only Sleeping (from Revolver)
- Eight Days A Week (from Beatles For Sale)
- A Day In The Life (from Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band)
Tuesday, 16 November 2010
Acting Like Children For Media Gratification
I had to pinch myself this morning. I genuinely thought I had woken up in 1994. iTunes is telling me that Take That have Robbie Williams back in the band, and their latest single is at number 2 in the charts, and The Guardian is telling me that Billy Corgan from Smashing Pumpkins has branded Pavement 'Sell outs'. If it wasn't for the fact that I found all this on my laptop which was wirelessly connected to the internet while listening to my iPod, I would be in the foetal position on the floor, sobbing to myself and wondering how to get back to 2010.
As far as Billy Corgan's comments go, the whole thing seems a little bit petty. After all, Pavement have been touring the world over the last 12 months as part of a reunion tour, while Smashing Pumpkins limp on, unrecognisable from the band that started out in 1988, partly due to the fact there's only one original member left. Partly due to the fact that the one original member doesn't appear to have aged very well.
Anyway, this got me thinking about some of the other rivalries in the music industry, all as petty as each other, but all very entertaining nonetheless.
Blur v Oasis
Starting with the most well known of musical bust-ups. 'The Battle of Britpop' really got out of hand rather fast. With Blur releasing 'Country House' on the same day as Oasis' 'Roll With It', the whole country was divided, the debate was so lively that BBC had the showdown as their top story on the 6 o'clock news. Of course, in reality, the two songs being bought by the public were both distinctly average, but Blur came out on top, placing at number one.Despite this, Oasis emerged as the more popular band, with sell out shows at Knebworth and commercial success in America. Albarn would later recall that if someone in a house saw him walking down the street, they would open their window and start playing Oasis. However, in the present day it's a matter of opinion. Blur reformed and played some of the best shows of their lives, while Oasis eventually split up after years of the Gallagher brothers not really getting on. Swings and roundabouts seems to be an apt phrase to use.
50 Cent v Kanye West
Not so much the battle of Britpop, but the battle of Hip-Hop. In 2007, Kanye moved the release date of his Graduation album to go directly up against Fiddy's third effort, Curtis. Like a bloody good game of poker, Fiddy called Kanye and then raised the stakes, saying that he would retire from music if Kanye outsold him. Unfortunately, what could have been the greatest thing to happen to the music industry turned out to be nothing more than hot air. Fiddy retracted his comments soon after, probably when he realised Kanye was going to sell 250,000 more records than him. Hip hop still remains rubbish today.
Professor Green v Ryan Jarman and Kate Nash
This story changes depending on which side of the camp you ask. Apparently, Nash invited 'Pro Green' down to the venue she was playing in Newcastle, and after seemingly being up for it, he later changed his mind when he found out that her boyfriend, Ryan Jarman was with her. The aftermath was a war of words on twitter. Jarman told his followers what happened and may have also labelled the rapper 'arrogant' and a 'prick'. Seemingly embarrassed, Green proceeded to leave endless tweets apparently as they entered his head about how Kate Nash is silly and Ryan Jarman has crap hair etc. What appeared to be turning into a small war dissolved into nothing after it turned out Green was about to release his new single. After all, all publicity is good publicity.
Tuesday, 2 November 2010
I Wasn't A Teenage Girl In The Early 90s.
The modern age has made things so simple hasn't it? Things that used to be so long-winded and complicated, can now be achieved in a matter of seconds. For instance, if I had wanted to publish this 30 years ago, people would have laughed, they would say 'What is this? There's no place for this in the media, you little ballsack.' Today, I've managed to write and publish this for people to read without any sort of permission from a burly, moustached newspaper editor.
There's also buying tickets, how easy is that nowadays? You just look at a list of events on a web page, decide which one you want to go to, click, enter then amount of tickets, enter your card details and you're done. How can anyone involved in that process mess it up?
The answer is quite easily, if you've been involved in buying tickets for Glastonbury or Take That's latest tour you'll have realised that actually, buying tickets for gigs is nothing but a giant ball-ache, unless you enjoy sitting at a computer for four hours at a time pressing nothing but the refresh button. It might be what I do on Facebook on most days, but if there's something like a ticket to see Take That at stake, the intensity is nothing but overwhelming.
I should point out now that I didn't actually want to buy any tickets. I'm not ranting because I missed out on going. They announced new shows, so it's all fine. I actually couldn't care less about them, I wasn't a teenage girl in the early 90s, so I'll never cherish them. However, sitting at a computer for 4 hours trying to get tickets and seeing them appear on eBay straight away isn't really on. The system is clearly flawed, so I've thought of some alternatives to the current ticket buying/selling system.
There's also buying tickets, how easy is that nowadays? You just look at a list of events on a web page, decide which one you want to go to, click, enter then amount of tickets, enter your card details and you're done. How can anyone involved in that process mess it up?
The answer is quite easily, if you've been involved in buying tickets for Glastonbury or Take That's latest tour you'll have realised that actually, buying tickets for gigs is nothing but a giant ball-ache, unless you enjoy sitting at a computer for four hours at a time pressing nothing but the refresh button. It might be what I do on Facebook on most days, but if there's something like a ticket to see Take That at stake, the intensity is nothing but overwhelming.
I should point out now that I didn't actually want to buy any tickets. I'm not ranting because I missed out on going. They announced new shows, so it's all fine. I actually couldn't care less about them, I wasn't a teenage girl in the early 90s, so I'll never cherish them. However, sitting at a computer for 4 hours trying to get tickets and seeing them appear on eBay straight away isn't really on. The system is clearly flawed, so I've thought of some alternatives to the current ticket buying/selling system.
1) Massive Treasure Hunt
Recreate the atmosphere of a small child's birthday party by hiding all the one million tickets in random places the length and breadth of the country. Of course, there will always be one person who really wants just one ticket, but is just a little bit too simple to find it, even with gentle hints from loved ones, but that's just natural selection. There are some flaws as well, like when the residents of Langtree notice someone in an SJM concerts shirt posting random pieces of paper into bushes as they walk down the street. We don't want it to be too taxing though, do we?
2) The Interview
This one basically speaks for itself. Simply send a CV and covering letter saying why you deserve to see your band to the given address. If you appear to be worthy of a ticket, you will be called for an interview to see if you are suitable for the concert. For example, If I want to go and see The Cribs at Bristol Academy, then I send off my application form that says 'My name is Matt, and I should go and see The Cribs because I have all their albums and know all the words to their songs and stuff.' Then I'll get summoned to an interview in Cardiff which I'll turn up to wearing one of my favourite Cribs T-Shirts only to be rejected by the panel because I wasn't confident under questioning. Bastards.
3) Anarchy
This one is basic. Simply place all the tickets available for the show inside the venue. Organise a time and date when people can claim them. Whoever manages to get a ticket from the pile and get out alive earns the right to go to the gig. Of course, security would have to be tight, but if anyone gets a little too greedy and makes away with 40 tickets, there would obviously be a sniper posted strategically to take that selfish creature out. Anyone who gets a ticket will have to go back through the box office and pay though, no matter how many broken ribs they suffer in the process.
Of course, there are other, less extreme alternatives, like simply putting different shows on sale on different days; or simply making sure that if there are a million tickets, you have the capacity to deal with one and a half million customers. But what fun would that be? I'd much rather go looking for a Take That ticket on a cold Friday morning at the top of Pendle Hill.
Sunday, 24 October 2010
Kings of Covers
I can't stop thinking about covers. Ever since Thursday's post about the worst covers of all time, I've found myself constantly listening to re-workings of different songs. It's got to the point now where I'm not sure what's original and what isn't. Now when I look in the mirror, I don't see myself any more, but a rather poor rendition of Gary Jarman's face.
So, considering last week I told you all about when cover versions go wrong. I thought I might as well show you the other end of the spectrum. My initial idea was to simply do a list of some of my favourite covers. However, when I started listing them, I realised that the majority of them came from a small cluster of bands.
As a result I'm just going to give you a list of people who can well and truly conquer the cover. The kings of covers. Once again, there's no particular order, and if you want to listen to any of the songs I've mentioned, there's a playlist at the bottom.
1. Ramones/Joey Ramone
Despite being founding members of the punk scene in 1976, the Ramones were heavily influenced by some of the more straight-laced bubblegum pop that was around in the 1950s and 1960s. When covering other songs, the Ramones often approached the task in one of two ways. Either by doing it like for like ('Needles and Pins', 'Baby I Love You') or giving it their own punk twist ('California Sun', 'Do You Wanna Dance' and Joey Ramone's version of 'What a Wonderful World'). Whichever way they would choose, it worked every time.
2. Franz Ferdinand
Despite predominantly being a guitar band, it's always been possible to tell that Franz Ferdinand have very pop style sensibilities. This is probably why more often than not they choose to cover songs that either were chart classics ('Sound and Vision', 'Call Me') or songs that could be considered classics in the future ('What You Waiting For?', 'Womanizer'). The thing that makes them a great cover band is that they decide to have fun outside of their typical style of music.
3. Oasis/Noel Gallager
Say what you want about Oasis, but they produced some exceptional material in their time. Usually having an album of their own material (insert Beatles sound-a-like joke here if you wish) and then releasing a reworked classic as a B-Sides to their singles. Songs of choice usually came from their influences, such as The Beatles ('I am the Walrus') and The Who ('My Generation'). Noel's also been known to cover a few classics while doing his own shows.
4. The Cribs/Ryan Jarman
The Cribs don't often cover songs that the majority have heard of (perhaps with the exception of The Smiths classic 'Panic'). However, whatever they choose to do, they always manage to make it their own. Song choices usually come from their influences (Huggy Bear's 'Concrete Life', Comet Gain's 'Saturday Night Facts of Life', The Replacements' 'Bastards of Young'), friends (Kaiser Chiefs' 'Modern Way) or a girlfriend (Kate Nash's 'Do-Wah-Doo').
There you go. If you want to listen to any of the songs (including the originals), then just click here. The only exception is 'Saturday Night Facts of Life', which is apparently too good for the likes of Youtube. Anyway, you can listen to The Cribs' version of that by clicking here.
So, considering last week I told you all about when cover versions go wrong. I thought I might as well show you the other end of the spectrum. My initial idea was to simply do a list of some of my favourite covers. However, when I started listing them, I realised that the majority of them came from a small cluster of bands.
As a result I'm just going to give you a list of people who can well and truly conquer the cover. The kings of covers. Once again, there's no particular order, and if you want to listen to any of the songs I've mentioned, there's a playlist at the bottom.
1. Ramones/Joey Ramone
Despite being founding members of the punk scene in 1976, the Ramones were heavily influenced by some of the more straight-laced bubblegum pop that was around in the 1950s and 1960s. When covering other songs, the Ramones often approached the task in one of two ways. Either by doing it like for like ('Needles and Pins', 'Baby I Love You') or giving it their own punk twist ('California Sun', 'Do You Wanna Dance' and Joey Ramone's version of 'What a Wonderful World'). Whichever way they would choose, it worked every time.
2. Franz Ferdinand
Despite predominantly being a guitar band, it's always been possible to tell that Franz Ferdinand have very pop style sensibilities. This is probably why more often than not they choose to cover songs that either were chart classics ('Sound and Vision', 'Call Me') or songs that could be considered classics in the future ('What You Waiting For?', 'Womanizer'). The thing that makes them a great cover band is that they decide to have fun outside of their typical style of music.
3. Oasis/Noel Gallager
Say what you want about Oasis, but they produced some exceptional material in their time. Usually having an album of their own material (insert Beatles sound-a-like joke here if you wish) and then releasing a reworked classic as a B-Sides to their singles. Songs of choice usually came from their influences, such as The Beatles ('I am the Walrus') and The Who ('My Generation'). Noel's also been known to cover a few classics while doing his own shows.
4. The Cribs/Ryan Jarman
The Cribs don't often cover songs that the majority have heard of (perhaps with the exception of The Smiths classic 'Panic'). However, whatever they choose to do, they always manage to make it their own. Song choices usually come from their influences (Huggy Bear's 'Concrete Life', Comet Gain's 'Saturday Night Facts of Life', The Replacements' 'Bastards of Young'), friends (Kaiser Chiefs' 'Modern Way) or a girlfriend (Kate Nash's 'Do-Wah-Doo').
There you go. If you want to listen to any of the songs (including the originals), then just click here. The only exception is 'Saturday Night Facts of Life', which is apparently too good for the likes of Youtube. Anyway, you can listen to The Cribs' version of that by clicking here.
Thursday, 21 October 2010
Inspired By The X-Factor
It's got to that time of the year where you can't go anywhere without seeing or hearing about The X-Factor. By now the most overly bombastic show on British television is in full swing, and every Saturday and Sunday between 7pm and 10pm your social network homepage gets filled with comments such as "WTF CHER LLOYD? U IZ CRAP" and "I <3 MATT C, HE CAN LEAVE HIS HAT ON!" As a result, you either have to watch every weekend without fail, or just go into hibernation and hope that you wake up on a Monday morning to find that the show has been cancelled forever. If only.
Anyway, after years of avoiding The X-Factor as if it were the bubonic plague, I've decided to give in to popular culture and just watch it. It's been about four weeks since I started watching and at the moment I'm quite overwhelmed by how average a lot of the contestants are. In fact, such is the averageness of the performances of many of the contestants, I've decided to make this post a tribute to the worst cover versions of all time.
There's no order to it, and my list is definitely not an exhaustive one, I just want to highlight some particularly awful renditions of good songs. Click on the titles to see or hear them.
Anyway, after years of avoiding The X-Factor as if it were the bubonic plague, I've decided to give in to popular culture and just watch it. It's been about four weeks since I started watching and at the moment I'm quite overwhelmed by how average a lot of the contestants are. In fact, such is the averageness of the performances of many of the contestants, I've decided to make this post a tribute to the worst cover versions of all time.
There's no order to it, and my list is definitely not an exhaustive one, I just want to highlight some particularly awful renditions of good songs. Click on the titles to see or hear them.
Robbie Williams - Song 2 (Originally by Blur)
Everyone always assumes that Robbie Williams was obsessed with Oasis, they are obviously all right, as Williams manages to forget nearly all the words to the first verse. It's also fair to say that his backing band struggle to recreate the guitar work of Graham Coxon, using two guitars to Coxon's one and still sounding 75% more atrocious.
t.A.T.u - How Soon Is Now? (Originally by The Smiths)
Remember Tatu? They had a hit single in 2003 with 'All The Things She Said'. Three singles later and the band released 'How Soon Is Now'. Luckily the US and the UK managed to get away with not having it released in their countries. Somehow they have managed to remove all the angst from the original and turn it into a school girl rendition at a karaoke party. I'm extremely worried that their voices aren't going to ever leave my head.
Lostprophets - Boys Don't Cry (Originally by The Cure)
Everyone always assumes that Robbie Williams was obsessed with Oasis, they are obviously all right, as Williams manages to forget nearly all the words to the first verse. It's also fair to say that his backing band struggle to recreate the guitar work of Graham Coxon, using two guitars to Coxon's one and still sounding 75% more atrocious.
t.A.T.u - How Soon Is Now? (Originally by The Smiths)
Remember Tatu? They had a hit single in 2003 with 'All The Things She Said'. Three singles later and the band released 'How Soon Is Now'. Luckily the US and the UK managed to get away with not having it released in their countries. Somehow they have managed to remove all the angst from the original and turn it into a school girl rendition at a karaoke party. I'm extremely worried that their voices aren't going to ever leave my head.
Lostprophets - Boys Don't Cry (Originally by The Cure)
They don't sound like they're from Pontypridd do they? Here, Ian Watkins does an amazing impression of a 33 year old Welsh man pretending to be a 13 year old American singing in front of his mirror. Unfortunately in the process he has ruined the song.
Duran Duran - Instant Karma (Originally by John Lennon)
Duran Duran - Instant Karma (Originally by John Lennon)
Trumpets will never be an acceptable replacement for the guitar of Jonny Greenwood. Alex Greenwald will never be an acceptable replacement of Thom Yorke. Mark Ronson will never hold any sort of place in my heart, he could go on to rid the world of Cancer or HIV and I would still feel nothing for him after making this cover happen.
David Kitt - Teenage Riot (Originally by Sonic Youth)
David Kitt - Teenage Riot (Originally by Sonic Youth)
This song manages to take all that was great about the original - The memorable guitar hooks, the pulsing drums, Thurston Moore's effortless vocals - remove it, and consequently perform the blandest song of all time. Nice one David, I don't even know who you are, but you have effectively ruined my life. You may as well be on X-Factor.
Anyway, those are my picks, if you have any horrendous cover versions you would like to share, then just leave a comment.
Anyway, those are my picks, if you have any horrendous cover versions you would like to share, then just leave a comment.
Friday, 15 October 2010
I'm Not Angry, I'm Just Disappointed
Sonic 4, wondering what to have for tea tonight, having a hangover, the prospect of an infinitely busy couple of weeks. Those are just some of the things I am more excited about than the release of Kings of Leon's new album.
Yes, Monday will see the Tennessee band release Come Around Sundown, their fifth (not second, fifth) studio album, but I don't think I will be rushing out to buy it this time.
I remember going back to my house two years ago with my copy of previous album, Only By The Night. I started playing the CD and I was well and truly blown away. However, within a few more listens, the original force nine wind had settled into one of those annoying little breezes, one that messes your hair up without you even noticing. It was from here that I realised Kings of Leon were never going to make anything like this ever again.
I'm not quite sure which I find more annoying, the new music or the new fans, the ones that think the earth orbits around an mp3 download of 'Use Somebody'. They go jogging each morning before work and listen to Kings of Leon next to Kanye West and Lady Gaga. As far as they're concerned, 2008 is KOL's year zero.
Before the release of new single 'Radioactive', I heard that the band were going back to their roots for the new album. This made me feel a bit more optimistic, I thought maybe there was hope for me yet, and then I saw this. I watched the whole video, and I was speechless. Six weeks have passed and I'm still speechless. I can't find any metaphors to explain how horrific it is.
To summarise, I don't think I can ever love Kings of Leon properly again. Sure, I might enjoy the odd single, I might be a little bit impressed with a live performance and I'll still get a shiver down my spine whenever I listen to Aha Shake Heartbreak. But I will never love them again. However, if I was in their position, I doubt I would care.
Yes, Monday will see the Tennessee band release Come Around Sundown, their fifth (not second, fifth) studio album, but I don't think I will be rushing out to buy it this time.
I remember going back to my house two years ago with my copy of previous album, Only By The Night. I started playing the CD and I was well and truly blown away. However, within a few more listens, the original force nine wind had settled into one of those annoying little breezes, one that messes your hair up without you even noticing. It was from here that I realised Kings of Leon were never going to make anything like this ever again.
I'm not quite sure which I find more annoying, the new music or the new fans, the ones that think the earth orbits around an mp3 download of 'Use Somebody'. They go jogging each morning before work and listen to Kings of Leon next to Kanye West and Lady Gaga. As far as they're concerned, 2008 is KOL's year zero.
Before the release of new single 'Radioactive', I heard that the band were going back to their roots for the new album. This made me feel a bit more optimistic, I thought maybe there was hope for me yet, and then I saw this. I watched the whole video, and I was speechless. Six weeks have passed and I'm still speechless. I can't find any metaphors to explain how horrific it is.
To summarise, I don't think I can ever love Kings of Leon properly again. Sure, I might enjoy the odd single, I might be a little bit impressed with a live performance and I'll still get a shiver down my spine whenever I listen to Aha Shake Heartbreak. But I will never love them again. However, if I was in their position, I doubt I would care.
Wednesday, 6 October 2010
My New Favourite Weapon
This week I managed to stumble upon something that can only be described as audio brilliance.
Before I let you listen though, I should probably warn you, this isn't the audio brilliance that you're probably thinking of, it's no OK Computer, it's no Is This It and it's almost definitely no song by Katy Perry. No, this is something on the other end of the spectrum. It's genius, but in a different kind of way, a much, much darker way. You only break this out when your back is against the wall and you've no other option.
Here's a scenario, your next door neighbours are throwing a party, which is fine at 8 in the evening, but before you know it, it's 1am and the noise is failing to cease, you can hear people talking, gossiping about how work is such a drone lately and how their outfit didn't quite compensate for the weather conditions of the evening. It's making you re-evaluate your life. It's making you realise you had a house with thinner walls.
It's at that moment that you break this out. Turn the your stereo up as loud as it will go and place the speakers at the walls. They'll soon shut up.
Yes, it's a whole album of feedback. You know, the noise audio equipment makes when something's a bit too close to it's amplifier. It's a little bit uncomfortable to say the least. But at times like this it's bloody brilliant.
For those who are wondering who the hell produces an album that is nothing but noise, I'll provide a bit of context. The band are Sonic Youth, a New York based rock band well known for experimentation. Anyway, this album came about when recording one of their many studio albums. The band in the studio above were waking way too much noise, so SY turned all their amps up to 11 and found as many instruments as possible to place against them, just to piss everyone off.
Anyway, you might think it's completely and utterly pointless, but for me, this is amazing. I give you my full permission to use it against anyone who's winding you up, or even anyone you want to annoy. Feedback is a beautiful thing, and more people should get to know it. It's audio brilliance.
Before I let you listen though, I should probably warn you, this isn't the audio brilliance that you're probably thinking of, it's no OK Computer, it's no Is This It and it's almost definitely no song by Katy Perry. No, this is something on the other end of the spectrum. It's genius, but in a different kind of way, a much, much darker way. You only break this out when your back is against the wall and you've no other option.
Here's a scenario, your next door neighbours are throwing a party, which is fine at 8 in the evening, but before you know it, it's 1am and the noise is failing to cease, you can hear people talking, gossiping about how work is such a drone lately and how their outfit didn't quite compensate for the weather conditions of the evening. It's making you re-evaluate your life. It's making you realise you had a house with thinner walls.
It's at that moment that you break this out. Turn the your stereo up as loud as it will go and place the speakers at the walls. They'll soon shut up.
Yes, it's a whole album of feedback. You know, the noise audio equipment makes when something's a bit too close to it's amplifier. It's a little bit uncomfortable to say the least. But at times like this it's bloody brilliant.
For those who are wondering who the hell produces an album that is nothing but noise, I'll provide a bit of context. The band are Sonic Youth, a New York based rock band well known for experimentation. Anyway, this album came about when recording one of their many studio albums. The band in the studio above were waking way too much noise, so SY turned all their amps up to 11 and found as many instruments as possible to place against them, just to piss everyone off.
Anyway, you might think it's completely and utterly pointless, but for me, this is amazing. I give you my full permission to use it against anyone who's winding you up, or even anyone you want to annoy. Feedback is a beautiful thing, and more people should get to know it. It's audio brilliance.
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