Comic book heroes are bloody everywhere these days aren't they? In the last few years we've seen Iron Man, Spiderman, Superman and Batman. This year the amount of movies based on superheroes seems to have spiked, with Thor, Green Lantern and Captain America all getting outings at the big screen.
I was watching the latest one a few nights ago, X-Men: First Class, which tells the story of how the group of mutants first came about. The film itself was quite impressive, unlike many other action films, this film actually had a story line and explored the friendship between Charles Xavier and Eric Lehnsherr, who of course will later come to be arch enemies.
But it wasn't that which I enjoyed. It was thinking how amazing it would be to have a superpower. Whether it was seeing Xavier use his telepathy to chat up women, or seeing Lehnsherr just completely kick ass throughout most of the film. It made me think it must be awesome to have a superpower. In fact, we've all thought it, because having one means you can automatically have the upper hand over everyone else in life (unless you have one like the man in the Skittles advert, in which case your life is barely worth living). It would be bloody fantastic wouldn't it?
It wouldn't. It might seem awesome to be able to read people's minds, but only when they're saying good things. For someone with such fragile self esteem as myself, all it would take is for you to overhear someone thinking 'cor, he's piling it on nowadays, and did he dress and do his hair in the dark or something?' and I would be running home in a flood of tears and wails of 'WHY DO PEOPLE HAVE TO HURT?' Where Professor Xavier stands out is that he can influence people's actions. So if someone does think something bad about him, he can make them punch themselves in the face, or get someone else to punch them in the face. Although I didn't see this in the film, I'm almost certain that it's being considered should there be a sequel. Anyway, he may be able to stop people thinking bad things, but I probably wouldn't. I'm not clever enough.
I have thought of a few powers that I would like though. These don't break any laws, and (as far as I'm aware) they don't impinge on anyone's human rights, or dignity. After all, if I could stop time or something I would only end up with a number of restraining orders and/or criminal charges against me.
1) The Changingman
I'm rubbish with money. Not because I waste it on junk, I only do that when it comes to food and drink. I'm rubbish because I'm not good with change. I pay for a few items and before I know it my wallet is overwhelmed with coins, and not nice £2 or £1 coins, we're talking small change. The worst type of change. If I buy something else, do I get rid of my change? No, because I don't want to hold anyone up, and I'm always well aware that the person at the till is losing the will to live, so I pay with a note and get more change. It's a vicious circle.
My superpower would see me have the correct change at all times. "That's £3.78 please," a shopkeeper says. That's not a problem for me. All I have to do is dip into my wallet and out comes the exact amount. I would be happy, the shopkeeper would be happy, the people queuing would be happy. No bad could possibly come from having that as a superpower.
2) Burglar sense
This one allows me to detect when someone is breaking into my house, and only my house. I don't want to be some sort of vigilante like Batman. I could never live up to Batman. No, this one simply wakes me up and lets me know when someone is breaking into my house. Not only can I take the correct steps to apprehending the burglar once my power has been put to use, but when I wake up at 2am hearing an unfamiliar noise I will be safe in the knowledge that whatever it was, it was nothing to worry about. Unless it was actually the house burning down, in which case I would die in my ignorant slumber.
3) The Sandwich Maker
Hungry, but can't be bothered to lift your fat arse off the sofa and do something about it? In a rush, with no time to make anything to eat? I've experienced both of these problems before, and this power solves both of them. Instant sandwiches. Obviously the ingredients are needed before clicking my fingers, I can't just make stuff appear out of thin air. Provided I have everything though, all it takes is some simple finger clicking. One for bread, one for butter, one for fillings, one for sauce, one for cutting. It's simple. Of course, problems may occur when you click your fingers for something else and you walk into the kitchen to find bread everywhere. But that's a small price to pay for instant happiness.
I was watching the latest one a few nights ago, X-Men: First Class, which tells the story of how the group of mutants first came about. The film itself was quite impressive, unlike many other action films, this film actually had a story line and explored the friendship between Charles Xavier and Eric Lehnsherr, who of course will later come to be arch enemies.
But it wasn't that which I enjoyed. It was thinking how amazing it would be to have a superpower. Whether it was seeing Xavier use his telepathy to chat up women, or seeing Lehnsherr just completely kick ass throughout most of the film. It made me think it must be awesome to have a superpower. In fact, we've all thought it, because having one means you can automatically have the upper hand over everyone else in life (unless you have one like the man in the Skittles advert, in which case your life is barely worth living). It would be bloody fantastic wouldn't it?
It wouldn't. It might seem awesome to be able to read people's minds, but only when they're saying good things. For someone with such fragile self esteem as myself, all it would take is for you to overhear someone thinking 'cor, he's piling it on nowadays, and did he dress and do his hair in the dark or something?' and I would be running home in a flood of tears and wails of 'WHY DO PEOPLE HAVE TO HURT?' Where Professor Xavier stands out is that he can influence people's actions. So if someone does think something bad about him, he can make them punch themselves in the face, or get someone else to punch them in the face. Although I didn't see this in the film, I'm almost certain that it's being considered should there be a sequel. Anyway, he may be able to stop people thinking bad things, but I probably wouldn't. I'm not clever enough.
I have thought of a few powers that I would like though. These don't break any laws, and (as far as I'm aware) they don't impinge on anyone's human rights, or dignity. After all, if I could stop time or something I would only end up with a number of restraining orders and/or criminal charges against me.
1) The Changingman
I'm rubbish with money. Not because I waste it on junk, I only do that when it comes to food and drink. I'm rubbish because I'm not good with change. I pay for a few items and before I know it my wallet is overwhelmed with coins, and not nice £2 or £1 coins, we're talking small change. The worst type of change. If I buy something else, do I get rid of my change? No, because I don't want to hold anyone up, and I'm always well aware that the person at the till is losing the will to live, so I pay with a note and get more change. It's a vicious circle.
My superpower would see me have the correct change at all times. "That's £3.78 please," a shopkeeper says. That's not a problem for me. All I have to do is dip into my wallet and out comes the exact amount. I would be happy, the shopkeeper would be happy, the people queuing would be happy. No bad could possibly come from having that as a superpower.
2) Burglar sense
This one allows me to detect when someone is breaking into my house, and only my house. I don't want to be some sort of vigilante like Batman. I could never live up to Batman. No, this one simply wakes me up and lets me know when someone is breaking into my house. Not only can I take the correct steps to apprehending the burglar once my power has been put to use, but when I wake up at 2am hearing an unfamiliar noise I will be safe in the knowledge that whatever it was, it was nothing to worry about. Unless it was actually the house burning down, in which case I would die in my ignorant slumber.
3) The Sandwich Maker
Hungry, but can't be bothered to lift your fat arse off the sofa and do something about it? In a rush, with no time to make anything to eat? I've experienced both of these problems before, and this power solves both of them. Instant sandwiches. Obviously the ingredients are needed before clicking my fingers, I can't just make stuff appear out of thin air. Provided I have everything though, all it takes is some simple finger clicking. One for bread, one for butter, one for fillings, one for sauce, one for cutting. It's simple. Of course, problems may occur when you click your fingers for something else and you walk into the kitchen to find bread everywhere. But that's a small price to pay for instant happiness.
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