Not-So-Vital Statistics

I read an interesting statistic last week. I found it in the Journal of Applied Psychology, and this journal happened to tell me that when men are with their girlfriends, they eat 20% more food than usual.

Now, at this point I must confess that the above paragraph isn't strictly accurate. Men are still gluttonous little toe-rags who like nothing more than to stuff themselves 20% closer to obesity. But I didn't read the statistic in a journal. I read it in More! magazine. I'm not even ashamed to say I enjoy looking through More! and almost any other woman's magazine. I'll happily pick one up if I see one knocking about. They're all so unsure of how they feel about the opposite sex that they change their opinion from page to page, and quite frankly, it makes for very entertaining reading.

Anyway, back to the statistic. 20% more food. Believable? Well, at the moment I'm not entirely sure. I'm very much aware that even when I'm on my own, I can wolf down food with a great deal of conviction. One shining example of my insatiable appetite and inability to say no often comes when I work on a Sunday. I will more often than not end up having two roast meals. I don't know, and I'm not sure I ever will want to know the sort of calorie count that comes from eating that much food. Today was worse, I had a large meal from McDonald's while I was out shopping, and then came home to find leftovers from yesterday's aforementioned roast sitting on the table. If I keep this lifestyle up, my stomach will stretch so much that by the time my metabolism slows down to it's inevitable snail-like pace, I won't be able to fit through the small doors in my house without some sort of struggle.

That said though, I probably do eat more food when I'm with my girlfriend. It's not helped by the fact that we both have a mutual love of food. More specifically Nando's. Vegetarian's aside, I struggle to fathom how people can't find a meal from Nando's enjoyable. Yes, it's essentially just chicken, but that's what makes it great. Not only do you get great food, you get great background music. This comes in the form of Portugese style cover versions of Indie songs. What's not to love? My girlfriend and I have visited so many times together that we got a free chicken. We're now a quarter of the way to our second.

That's all very well, I hear you say. But that just means you eat more chicken than you usually would. This is again true. However, if I were on my own, I probably wouldn't buy myself another half chicken to eat the next day. I almost certainly wouldn't go straight to Krispy Kreme after and take a box of doughnuts home. No, I well and truly conform to the average male in a relationship by the sounds of it. For once I'm not that bothered either. I might be in years to come when I weigh 28 stone and can do nothing but lie in a hammock. I'm doomed.